10 Day Writing Challenge

In February 2020, I participated in a 10-day writing challenge on Skillshare. The writing prompt we were given was, "Today I noticed." I wrote based on some of my daily experiences. None of these are masterpieces; I'm sure I made plenty of grammatical and other mistakes, but I found it fun and therapeutic. The last entry hits pretty hard when I look back.

Day 1 (Feb 6, 2020)- The Wind Today I noticed it was warm and windy, which was a bit unusual. Not the warmth, seeing as I am in Florida, but the wind. It was a warm wind that, despite its movement, felt stuffy and oppressive. The wind and the weight of the air reflected my mood. As it blew through the trees at varying speeds, causing the leaves and branches to swing to and fro, it perfectly mirrored the feeling of restlessness residing deep in my gut. This feeling, coupled with an overwhelming sense of unfulfillment in life and a strong sense of self-doubt. Failure and confusion over what my true motivations, goals, and desires are now. Some days, I feel like I know my exact path in life and as if I can conquer the world. Cue the theme from Rocky. Today was not one of those days. Factually, it was on the opposite end of the spectrum. I was really feeling that wind today. Day 2 (Feb 7, 2020)- Video Games Today, I noticed while watching a replay of one of my favorite YouTube channels, live-streaming gameplay of the Friday the 13th video game on Steam, that I miss the sense of community that comes from interacting with people. More specifically, people online from anywhere in the world. This guy I follow on YouTube was playing with people of varying ages from different corners of the world - America, Australia, Germany, and who knows where else? They were having a complete blast. It was just as much fun for me watching it as it was for those playing the game. It took me back to the early days of the internet when chat groups first became a thing. It was the first time in history that you could instantly (well, almost) talk to someone on the other side of the globe. It was exciting and powerful. I made a lot of new friends. Like real friends, sometime later we started speaking on the phone and sending each other letters, because in the mid to late ‘90s it was still a thing people did. Now, I feel like this is something we take for granted, and our interactions on social media are severely lacking in sincerity and depth. Not to mention manners and restraint seem to have gone out the window. Like right out the fucking window. It’s one thing to offer helpful criticism and advice. It’s another thing to be a complete dick for the sake of being a dick. But anyway. It was nice to see/hear people of all ages and cultural backgrounds interacting, connecting, and having fun doing something as simple as playing a video game online. Day 3 (Feb 8, 2020)- Miss Barky McBarkerson Today, I noticed the dog that lives in the upstairs apartment across the parking lot from mine was back. She is the teeny, tiniest teacup Chihuahua I have ever seen. Yet when she comes joyously bounding out onto the balcony of her apartment, barking her head off, it’s as if she were the fiercest creature ever. She has a high-pitched, shrill bark. Usually, I would find it grating and annoying, but she seems so enthusiastic about defending her territory that I have come to discover it is endearing. She’s just so damn happy to bark at anyone and anything who dares to walk by, all while wagging her tiny little butt and tail, that it is actually cute. Walking to your car? How dare you! Bark! Bark! Bark! Baaark! Going to the laundry center to wash your clothes? Not allowed! Bark! Bark! Bark! Baaaark! When she gets going, I can see her whole body lift off the ground with each bark. It’s the funniest thing, and I look forward to her leaping out onto that balcony each day. Bark on, you fierce little thing. Bark on. Day 4 (Feb 9, 2020)- Doves Today I noticed two doves outside my kitchen window. They were looking for a spot to build their nest, and they thought the palm tree outside my window might be an ideal location. See, when you are a hermit, like me, you start to notice these things. I never took myself as the kind of person who would know anything about the mating rituals of doves, but here I am. I know that while they are searching for a spot to build and think they have found it, they call each other. If it is almost Spring and a dove flies by your window making an “Oooh-wooo-ooooh” sound, they are calling their mate. They are saying, “Psssst! Over here! Check out this spot.” The mate then flies over, making a “Teee-ttteee-tteeee” kind of sound, and either gives it the thumbs up on the location or not. If not, they move on. Day 5 (Feb 10, 2020)- Trees Today I noticed how much I miss going outdoors. I live in a hot, humid climate. So, most of the year, I keep myself cooped up inside to avoid coming into contact with the hot, moist air that lingers thick and heavy outside. But it is winter, and the weather has cooled and is drier, so I decided to venture out for a late afternoon walk. The air was still warmish, but the breeze was cool. We don’t get much wind here, which is why it is so miserable in the summer. So, this was a very welcome change. The sun blinded me as I headed West. I stopped to look at some nearby apartment buildings built in the 1960s. One has a unique, curved, cylindrical design with an open courtyard in the center. I turned the corner and headed back towards the main road. The sun was beginning to set by this point, and dusk was quickly approaching. I looked up at the trees, with their bare branches lit up by the setting sun. Brilliant orange-gold fingers reaching up towards an endless periwinkle sky. Day 6 (Feb 11, 2020)- Flexibility Today, I noticed that as I approach my 40s, I am a lot less anxious about meeting all of my goals in life. I am learning to be flexible. Life has many different paths, and things change. I still have goals and dreams and ambitions, but I know now that they don’t always come to fruition, and that’s okay. Not every story has a happy ending, and sometimes things don’t work out. Instead of getting upset or discouraged, I try to learn from the experience and forge a new path. The trick is to keep going. I still have my bad days, but I get over them much quicker now. I am learning to be like the wind or waves on the shore, ebbing and flowing. Bending branches and gliding through the leaves and grass as I move along the many roads life leads me down. More importantly, the many paths I pave for myself. Day 7 (Feb 12, 20202)- Pain Today I noticed that the pain and inflammation have returned. The pain never goes away, and some days are worse than others. The pain feels white-hot. Radiating through my back, up both my arms, into my neck, and up into my head. I feel my muscles tense, and then comes a sensation of pins and needles. I am sitting here feeling completely drained, exhausted, and slightly nauseous. I am wondering how much fucking longer this is going to last? Why is it getting worse each month? 28 years. That is how long I have been dealing with this bullshit. It has robbed me of leading a normal life, and I am tired of being tired and in pain. Enough is enough. I need more answers than what I already have. I have an appointment coming up for extensive blood work. Hopefully, it will shed more light on what is happening inside my body. It has to. Day 8 (Feb 13, 2020)- Lacking Creativity Today I noticed that I am feeling completely and utterly uninspired. I am sure most artists have days like this, and it sucks. It is a total downer when you lose that creative high. Usually, the ideas pour out of me. So many that I don’t know how or what I can do with them all. Nonetheless, it feels great. It feels like many steps toward something and creating a future until it goes away. I have nothing but an empty and confused feeling inside. That is like leaping backward. So, here I am writing down my thoughts and feelings once again. It is a way for me to gain back control of my creative vibe. It is my light in the dark. A way to pull me out of the abyss or “Blahsville” or whatever you like to call it. Keep creating even when you don’t feel like it. Day 9 (Feb 14, 2020) - Old Radio Today I noticed how much I love listening to music on an old radio. It may not have the best sound quality, but this is what I grew up with. The hint of static is a comforting, familiar sound. I also find it amusing that songs from the '80s and '90s are now considered old or retro. These songs were new when I was young. I remember them premiering on MTV or the radio. But that’s life, and today’s kids will look back on the current hit songs with the same nostalgia. Is their music just as good? Probably not. But then again, I am sure my parents and their parents felt the same way about their music. Day 10 (Feb 15, 2020)- WTF is Happening Today, I noticed this new year and decade have gotten off to a very rocky start. I started this year with a lot of optimism, and I don’t plan to let the current events deter me. There is a lot of hysteria surrounding a viral outbreak that is being perpetuated by the mainstream media (as usual). While the virus exists, the facts surrounding it are not clear enough to justify the way people seem to be reacting. It is a crazy time and makes me stop and say to myself, “What the fuck?!” But like all crazy situations, this will end at some point. We will persevere and move on with our lives. But one thing is sure: this will bring about changes. This is what is most worrying to me. However, I hope the changes will not be too drastic, and our lives will return to normal. Whatever that means nowadays.

2026 Me here: Hot damn, I had no idea what we all were in store for during the early 2020s. While the pandemic did eventually come to an end, sort of... Unfortunately, no, the changes were very drastic, and things have not gotten better or returned to normal. Fuck...